what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
