nut hugger
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
