It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
