First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
