Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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