guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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