Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
