Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
