If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
