is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
