No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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