i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
