FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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