Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
