I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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