btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
