apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
