Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
