ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
