At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
