i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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