Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
