So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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