I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
