I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
