I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
