Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize