A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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