He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
