wat bout pragnant strippers??
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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