he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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