dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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