someone threw a dead crab at me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
