How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
