I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
