Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
