Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
