covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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