Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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