anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How does one acquire holy water?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
