i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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