Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
