so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
