We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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