I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
