Im at strip club and am horny
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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