when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize