I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
