It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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