i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
