i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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