i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
