was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
