your room smells of hookers.
And success
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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