So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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