Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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