absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
