this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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