Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
