I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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