gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
