soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
