I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
