Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
